ONE MINUTE MELEE

WHERE ALL THE FIGHTS ARE SETTLED IN 60 SECONDS!

TWO FIGHTERS!

ONE MINUTE!

ZERO RESEARCH!

MELEE!

The lord of Funai on the island of Kyushu and high priest of Xavism, Otomo Sorin, sat upon his throne, his chief retainer, the mighty and loyal Tachibana Muneshige, sporting his yellow armor and blue clothes and kabuto helmet, by his side. The sounds of battle raged outside. Some warrior or another had perhaps come to try and test his might against Muneshige. It was either that or said warrior was looking to take the land of Funai for himself.

Regardless, the sounds of battle raging and his lord’s continued apathy towards it concerned Muneshige.

“My lord! I must implore you to allow me on to the front lines!” Muneshige voiced.

“Quiet, Muneshige! You’ll wait here until our guest arrives!”

“Guest?! My lord--!”

Before Muneshige could finish his protest, the doors to the throne room flew open. In the doorway, clutching the body of one of Sorin’s dead generals by the neck, was a platinum blond man who sported a ripped shirt, a leather harness, fingerless gloves, spiked gauntlets, face paint around his eyes, denim jeans, and leather boots. His eyes were pure white and Munishige could swear he saw small sparks in the corner of the man’s eyes. In the hand not choking whatever life remained out of the Xavist disciple, he held some sort of rope.

“Welcome!” Sorin shouted as he made his way to the burly man, “No doubt you’ve come to hear the word of Xavi! Truly, this is a day for--!”

Sorin’s speech was cut off by a rope wrapping around his neck, courtesy of the mystery man. The mystery man gave the rope a tug and pulled Sorin towards him, decking him in the nose and flinging the Xavist’s unconscious, if not dead, body on top of his sprawled form.

Sorin, barely conscious, shouted at the top of his lungs.

“Muneshige! What are you waiting for?! Kill him!”

“At once, my lord!” Muneshige drew what appeared to be two mini chainsaws that revved as such, sparking with electricity. “Before we begin, you should know…"

"There are two things I inherited from my father! The first is the Lightning Edge!” Muneshige held both blades sideways in front of his face, parallel to each-other, with a gap revealing his bearded face. “And the second…” he crossed the blades together, creating a larger spark, “Is the spirit of the Samurai!” He dragged the chainsaws across each other abruptly, creating a gust. “I may not have great skill, but I do possess loyalty!” He crossed his arms over his chest. “And I vow never to dishonor…” He raised the crossed blades above his head. “Or disgrace my lord’s name!” He held out both blades to the side, keeping his stance wide and low to the ground, his cape billowing with the apparent gust created by the weapons.

“Your lord does enough of that for you!” the mystery man finally spoke, “But don’t worry… Zubaz is here to fix that!”

THIS MATCH WILL BE ELECTRIFYING!

FIGHT!

Zubaz made the first move, striking out with his rope whip, aiming to wrap it around Muneshige’s wrist. Muneshige saw it coming, though, and struck the end of the whip with one of his chainsaws, deflecting it. Oddly, the rope didn’t shred from its contact with the chainsaw. Regardless, Muneshige charged Zubaz relentlessly.

Striking out with the rope whip, Zubaz tried to slow Muneshige’s charge. Fruitless, as Muneshige slapped away the rope with swings from the Lightning Edge. Upon getting close enough, Muneshige swung one of his chainsaws in a wide arc looking to slice Zubaz up. Zubaz deflected the strike with a swing of his whip. Both weapons forcefully repelled each-other, but both warriors swung again. Again, the weapons bounced off of each-other. This pattern repeated for a brief while, the pace slowly increasing as they did.

After a brief exchange, Muneshige planted one of the chainsaws in the ground and slashed at Zubaz, kicking up dirt and rubble at him. Zubaz, forced back and in a move of quick thinking, lashed out with his rope whip. He didn’t lash it out at Tachibana…

He lashed it out at one of the ceiling’s support beams.

The rope wrapped around the beam, and Zubaz used it like a vine swing. He outstretched his feet as he did, flying towards Muneshige. His feet found their mark, his boots planting themselves in Muneshige’s face.

Muneshige stumbled back, but quickly righted himself and brought up his chainsaws to block when he saw Zubaz making to divekick him. Oddly, Zubaz seemed to phase right through Muneshige. The samurai turned to face Zubaz again…

Only to get knocked forward by a bolt of lightning from Zubaz’s kick. Zubaz, seizing the opportunity, lashed his rope out and wrapped it around Muneshige’s waist. He swung hard, slamming Muneshige in to the wall. With a roar that sounded like a thunderclap, he swung Muneshige in to the other wall. Then he slammed Muneshige back in to the first wall.

This pattern repeated over…

And over…

And over…

And over again.

Before the pattern could repeat once more, Muneshige crashed through the wall, Zubaz’s rope going slack just long enough for the samurai to turn the tables and pull Zubaz through the hole in the wall along with him by his own rope.

While Zubaz righted himself, Muneshige took the chance to strengthen his Lightning Edge. The chainsaw weapons seemed to charge with greater electric charges.

Zubaz knew he needed to get the leg up on Muneshige, and fast! He could only think of one way to do it.

But it was stupid.

It was risky.

If it failed, it could end up killing him.

And that all was why it was right up his alley!

He ducked and weaved Muneshige’s strikes, waiting for the one… single… moment…

BINGO!

Muneshige swung horizontally, and Zubaz leapt over it, doing a front flip and landing behind Muneshige. He charged himself up, his body pulsating with electricity. But Muneshige was slower than Zubaz thought.

Muneshige turned to Zubaz just as Zubaz’s Shocker move came to an end.

After a quick charge, Muneshige rammed his chainsaws in to Zubaz’s torso. Abruptly, Muneshige revved the chainsaws within Zubaz’s torso, ripping the Oncoming Storm from within. He briefly stopped the chainsaws, long enough for Zubaz to speak, blood dripping from his mouth:

“Ha… Suck it!”

Zubaz quickly grabbed Muneshige’s head and discharged electricity in to the samurai’s body.

Unfortunately…

Like a tazer shot, that only caused Muneshige to rev the chainsaws whilst they were still within Zubaz.

Before long, the two fell to the ground.

Defeated.

DOUBLE K.O.!


THIS MELEE IS…

A DRAW!