Death Battle Prelude: Lu Bu vs. Kenpachi Zaraki

Layne: The Path of The Warrior is littered with trials, foes...

Xander: And often a mountain of corpses!

Layne: In the dog-eat-dog life of the warrior, aggression and violence is the name of the game!

Xander: And these two are more aggressive and violent than any other!

Layne: Lu Bu, the greatest warrior of post-Han China...

Xander: And Kenpachi Zaraki, Captain of Squad 11...

Layne: I’m Layne and he’s Xander.

Xander: And it’s our job to analyze their weapons, skills, and tactics to find out who would win… a Death Battle!

Layne: In post-Han China, one rule prevailed amongst all others. It is not a written rule, but it is engraved in the minds of all who know it and have defied it...

Xander: DO NOT PURSUE LU BU!

Layne: After killing his adopted father...

Xander: Whoa.

Layne: He’d be adopted in to another family...

Xander: Oh.

Layne: And kill that adoptive father...

Xander: Whoa.

Layne: Who just so happened to be the tyrannical Dong Zhuo.

Xander: Oh.

Layne: Lu Bu would then be taken in to Liu Bei’s care and—

Xander: Let me guess...

Both: Betray him.

Xander: I’m sensing a pattern here.

Layne: Lu Bu would then embark on a campaign to rule all of China. A campaign built on blood and bodies.

Layne: Lu Bu is a proficient professional warrior, possessing skills in horsemanship and combat, as well as being skilled in many forms of weaponry particularly the halberd.

Xander: Speaking of halberds, Lu Bu’s bread and butter is his, Sky Piercer!

Layne: Lu Bu not only has a custom-made weapon, he even has his own supreme horse! Red Hare!

Xander: Red Hare is the ultimate horse. It’s so powerful that only the mightiest of warriors can ride it. The metaphorical God of War and literal God of Medicine and Health, Guan Yu, is the only other person to get Red Hare to accept him as its master!

Layne: While not a super-soldier, per se, Lu Bu’s strength, stamina, and durability far exceed that of a normal man.

Xander: This guy’s so powerful, he seems to be able to channel his primal rage in to deadly attacks.

Layne: One way he does this is through his EX Attacks. In one, Lu Bu grabs his opponent by the throat, choke them with electricity—

Xander: Wait, seriously?!

Layne: Yep. He then proceeds to slam them in to the ground, creating a massive shockwave. His Musou attacks, basically super powerful attacks, include the laser-eye like Spirit Bomb...

Xander: Is that seriously the name?

Layne: Unfortunately. He also utilizes the Armageddon Strike, an attack so impactful that if you’re in Lu Bu’s sight, you’re pretty much screwed.

Xander: Lu Bu also utilizes the Unparalleled Might attack, a move so deadly and dangerous, that if you’re not at least on par with Lu Bu, then you better shit your pants right then and there before you die.

Layne: Even if Unparalleled Might doesn’t connect, Lu Bu still receives a gain to his already staggering strength and defense! And, oddly enough, Lu Bu is known to be an excellent archer.

Xander:: My ass! He only has two stars on bow weapons!

Layne: No accounting for historical accuracy, I guess.

Xander: We are seriously talking a game in which you can literally kill 1,000 Chinese soldiers, officers included, by striking a pose and unleashing concentrated anger in a cone in front of you. Historical accuracy went out the window a loooooooooong time ago.

Layne: But, despite Lu Bu’s peerless might...

Xander: He’s dense as all Hell!

Layne: Though crudely delivered, that’s indeed right. Lu Bu is so confident in his own might that he considers tactics and politics to be a waste of time.

Xander: Probably for the better since he doesn’t seem to have any skill in either.

Layne: He also seems to suffer from trust issues.

Xander: This guy’s changed sides more than Revolver Ocelot!

Layne: His warrior mentality also seems to prevent him from accepting defeat. Even when said defeat is at the hands of a god!

Layne: But the fact that Lu Bu inspires fear even after God only knows how many games is a testament to his ferocity and sheer power. If you see Lu Bu, you better run like Hell!

Layne: Growing up in the lawless Soul Society District Zaraki...

Xander: So that’s where his name comes from...

Layne: Kenpachi Zaraki acquired a taste for blood early in his life. Happening upon a dead Shinigami, he took said Shinigami's sword, impressing his own spirit energy upon it to make a zanpakuto.

Xander: Also, after challenging his predecessor to a fight and subsequently killing him, he gained the leadership position of Captain of the most bloodthirsty Squad; Squad 11. It's almost like Senator Armstrong was right all along...

Layne: Kenpachi has a wide range of sills, and all of them are geared towards combat. Be it his superhuman abilities, his perceptiveness, or his combat expertise, everything Kenpachi does is designed to hurt and hurt bad!

Xander: As a Shinigami, Kenpachi of course possesses a zanpakuto, a sword that reflects and enhances his spirit energy.

Layne: Amazingly, despite being a Squad Captain, Kenpachi has not unlocked the full power of his zanpakuto.

Xander: What?

Layne: A zanpakuto has three forms. The standard form is what most Shinigami have. Shikai is usually mastered by Lieutenants and other high-ranking officers. Bankai unleashes all of the zanpakuto’s power and can only be mastered by Captain-rank Reapers and above. Despite being a Captain, Kenpachi has only achieved mastery of the shikai form of his zanpakuto.

Xander: Kenpachi did achieve the rank of Captain by beating a Captain, but he’s had no formal Shinigami training, save one day’s worth of training in kendo.

Layne: No, he wasn't that good. More like the powers that be figured that if he realized his full potential and rebelled that he’d be unstoppable. A foolish fear, since he hates using fighting styles from other sources, preferring instead to use his own self-taught style. Though, he will use his kendo skills as a last resort.

Xander: In all seriousness, though, what could he possibly do with one day’s experience in kendo?

Layne: The Ryodan. This is a kendo strike so powerful that it makes its namesake, “Bisection,” all the more appropriate since it literally slices opponents in half.

Xander: Hot damn! Sign me up for that class!

Layne: That’s not all Kenpachi has. He’s able to exert so much of his spirit energy that opponents miles away will enter a state of dizziness and confusion, concentrate his energy in to a ferocious energy wave attack, and even use his spirit energy to repel poison!

Xander: WHAT?

Layne: It happened.

Xander: But even that isn’t all Kenpachi has. As mentioned before, he has mastered the zanpakuto skill of shikai. This amplifies his already ludicrous abilities and gives him the power to even cut space itself!

Layne: Even more, Kenpachi is capable of much more. The eye patch he wears serves only one function: and it’s not to make him look badass.

Xander: The eye patch is actually a kind of leech, taking his spirit energy and eating it, essentially draining his power.

Layne: Meaning that when he takes the eye patch off, his already superhuman skills skyrocket to absurd levels.

Xander: But Zaraki is far from the perfect warrior. He has weaknesses.

Layne: He seems to have the old-fashioned idea of fighting for the sake of growing stronger, but he’ll hold back early on in fights to make them last longer.

Xander: His lack of formal training also means he can’t use bankai or kido spells.

Layne: Even more than that, Kenpachi favors simply overpowering enemies with his sheer power rather than using any deep strategy.

Xander: Like a badass! You don’t need to think too much when you can cut a guy in half with one slash!

Layne: It’s impossible to deny, Kenpachi Zaraki has earned his position in the pantheon of the mightiest of fictional warriors.